When I'm feeling down to the earth

Long time a go, someone asked me to sit down for a while and I give it a try. When I do it, I saw a lot of thing in my mind since childhood wandering inside my mind. I reflect upon all the thing I had done in the past and recently. I learned to know myself better, boy what a life I'm having now. I had faced and through many experiences in life and yet it's still not enough to fulfil what I desired the most.

When I stop for a while, thinking all the things I had done, I saw many characters and some of them had changed with time but still I'm the same as before. I can say that my life is blessed because I work for it and I want it to be like like that. Even before I go to sleep laying myself on the bed, I think back what I had done that whole day; "did I do something wrong?", "who was the person I'm interact with? had I done something that offence / hurting them?", "where was I?, did I miss something today?," upon so many self-questioning I end up sleeping late at night.

Then the next day I'll try to change my approach and lessen the inappropirate manners / behavior I had done previously. I'm a dynamic person and analytical thinker. I put myself on others' shoe and change comply with the situation continuously for perfection.

I learned that I'm very tolerate(I put other first before myself), cautious(because I'm very clumsy sometime), hunger for knowledge and information(ICT anyone?), curious(learning human behavior and things), self-motivated(I don't die easily facing a hungry tiger), have the need for wider space for myself(small space makes me weak), and I'm a time-chaser(time goes by quickly isn't it). It does look promising right?

Bear in mind, each one of us have our own negative charge and I always tried to improved myself with the time given because that is all I have. I want to release myself from self-prejudice, I don't want to be a fish seller(selfish), chased away all the bad thought and kill my EGO for being so stubborn and overeact.

Sometime, I loved being left alone by myself and I don't know why because I used to be accompanied by friends. Probabaly remain silence for a while(sometime for hours) is better than figuring out how to finish Mr Lu's assignment(flash presentation). I'm used being alone since my childhood when my parents not around. I do things by my own and learn it by myself. Whenever I have problems, I choose to fix it by myself especially one that caused by me and rather not bother others. Mostly I end up injuring my finger, cut myself, and continuously got shocked by electric current (till now I never learn how to avoid the shock)

Okay, as a conclusion, I know who I am now and I know who I was before. I'm just a simple kid who knows nothing but playing the kites and bicycle around his house without knowing what the future lies ahead of him. The boy was ignorant and has a lot to learn about the outside of his hometown. The boy don't even know how hard the life out there would be, and all he know was "everyone is kind enough to help me", "I'll be a good boy" and good things happen to good people. The boy was so ignorant that he faced the fact of life blindly and endlessly struggle to keep his word from being destroyed by others own greed and selfishness. Along the way the boy kills his EGO and slash his ignorance into pieces so that when he walk along the road, he would rememmber how his EGO and ignorance gone. Because at that time, the boy for the first time in his life bow his head down to the earth admitting the true reason of his fight...

I Just Won't Stop "Keep On Fighting"