When I'm feeling down to the earth

Long time a go, someone asked me to sit down for a while and I give it a try. When I do it, I saw a lot of thing in my mind since childhood wandering inside my mind. I reflect upon all the thing I had done in the past and recently. I learned to know myself better, boy what a life I'm having now. I had faced and through many experiences in life and yet it's still not enough to fulfil what I desired the most.

When I stop for a while, thinking all the things I had done, I saw many characters and some of them had changed with time but still I'm the same as before. I can say that my life is blessed because I work for it and I want it to be like like that. Even before I go to sleep laying myself on the bed, I think back what I had done that whole day; "did I do something wrong?", "who was the person I'm interact with? had I done something that offence / hurting them?", "where was I?, did I miss something today?," upon so many self-questioning I end up sleeping late at night.

Then the next day I'll try to change my approach and lessen the inappropirate manners / behavior I had done previously. I'm a dynamic person and analytical thinker. I put myself on others' shoe and change comply with the situation continuously for perfection.

I learned that I'm very tolerate(I put other first before myself), cautious(because I'm very clumsy sometime), hunger for knowledge and information(ICT anyone?), curious(learning human behavior and things), self-motivated(I don't die easily facing a hungry tiger), have the need for wider space for myself(small space makes me weak), and I'm a time-chaser(time goes by quickly isn't it). It does look promising right?

Bear in mind, each one of us have our own negative charge and I always tried to improved myself with the time given because that is all I have. I want to release myself from self-prejudice, I don't want to be a fish seller(selfish), chased away all the bad thought and kill my EGO for being so stubborn and overeact.

Sometime, I loved being left alone by myself and I don't know why because I used to be accompanied by friends. Probabaly remain silence for a while(sometime for hours) is better than figuring out how to finish Mr Lu's assignment(flash presentation). I'm used being alone since my childhood when my parents not around. I do things by my own and learn it by myself. Whenever I have problems, I choose to fix it by myself especially one that caused by me and rather not bother others. Mostly I end up injuring my finger, cut myself, and continuously got shocked by electric current (till now I never learn how to avoid the shock)

Okay, as a conclusion, I know who I am now and I know who I was before. I'm just a simple kid who knows nothing but playing the kites and bicycle around his house without knowing what the future lies ahead of him. The boy was ignorant and has a lot to learn about the outside of his hometown. The boy don't even know how hard the life out there would be, and all he know was "everyone is kind enough to help me", "I'll be a good boy" and good things happen to good people. The boy was so ignorant that he faced the fact of life blindly and endlessly struggle to keep his word from being destroyed by others own greed and selfishness. Along the way the boy kills his EGO and slash his ignorance into pieces so that when he walk along the road, he would rememmber how his EGO and ignorance gone. Because at that time, the boy for the first time in his life bow his head down to the earth admitting the true reason of his fight...

I Just Won't Stop "Keep On Fighting"

Love Part 2?

Life's getting tough everyday for the boy but he is thankful that he gets an employment before graduation because it's quite difficult to look for it in this country. His enthusiasm drives him all this time as life is nothing but a journey for the betterment of future. The pain of being scolded (the bos always 'tiau' him for perfection) and excessive workloads in his daily life never demoralize him and he face it alone without anyone to share.

Till one day, he went to one of their main customer to deal with their quality problems complained by the customer, there he met a girl. She was about his height and a sweet person. the boy bravely approach the girl and started the conversation. She was a little bit shy except one thing... She is a foreigner so it was a little bit difficult to communicate with her.

From a simple conversation, the boy frequently visit their customer whenever problems occurred(well some are not) he felt that he has every reason to live beside than working. He can't resist his heart that he fall in L*** with her so he take the courage to tell the girl how he felt and how he can't feel the life without seeing her, calmly she accepted him. Coincidentally she lives nearby the apartment where the boy lives. During weekend and after they done with their jobs, they spent their time together at Station One Cafe at Kajang. Day by day the girl improved her Malay language and so do the boy, both of them able to understood each other. The boy felt that, there is no way he'll let this chance slipped like the last one. He even learn about their cultures. Whenever the boy got tired from work she always there for him to comfort him and he never have to face all this by himself like before it's "us" now.

He had thought about moving to Seri Kembangan for some time but there is nobody to help him and it's would be hard for both of them to meet. He needs to have a better job which offers better salary than his current job so that they can lived together comfortably. That was what the boy dreamed of.


Suddenly, the boy's family calls and asked him to return back to homeland at first the boy resist and telling them that he is happy with his life there. "You must comeback, your mother miss you so much. You should serve your homeland beside there are plenty of jobs around here. Peninsular is not your place and your're the one who'll take care of your brothers when we're not around in this world". The words was like a blade piercing through his heart because the boy cared much of his brothers. He aware that his brothers still have a long way to go to build their own life and his parent is not getting younger and they had sacrifices a lot for him to get the square hat he dreamed of. He only have a week left to make a decision. "My homeland? Why not? But..."

He didn't mentioned his family about the girl, fear that his family might object her and it would be difficult to deal with Immigration department as she is attach for two years(work permit)at their company. With a heavy heart he packed his belonging secretly from her. It's such a pain to leave someone who share the same feeling and affection toward us for some time.

It's almost Chinese New Year and the boy still remember how his ex-employer tried to ask to stay. Not even money changed his decision because when he make his decision he never look back. He gave a good farewell to the company and how grateful and honored he is working for them and all the chances given to him. Next day the boy planned something special for her and brought the girl around KL for shopping and lunch. She was very delighted when the boy saw her face, deep inside his heart "I wish this moments never end, I'm sorry, I have to go"

On the last night, the boy asked the girl to have a dinner with him around 9.00 p.m. He gave the girl a silver necklace and he say that she look beautiful wearing it but he didn't mention anything about his departure. She loved the gift and say "Thank you, I love you". The girl didn't know that this night was the last night they spent their time together as lover. He ordered a special cuisine, her favourite, and then he asked the Station One workers to sing a song for her, it was her birthday what a coincident and the girl gives the boy a hug and kiss him on the cheek. That day was 27th January 2006, a day the boy will never forget.

The next day the boy took all his belonging that morning and catch a flight to Kuching by 12.55 p.m without saying goodbye with a heavy heart. Till now the boy still the same person who he was to be. He eats rice on a chinese bowl, he eat healthy foods, he rarely drinks(now he had stopped) appreciates everyone just as what she had taught him. Somehow he missed Chan-Chua she used to cook for him.

Chan-Chua

Time past by and the boy continues his journey after three years as a FIG***R. Probably there would be something...

East Valley Camping ended...

Phew.. after a tiring and fun journey at East Valley Camp, Serian it makes me think about how great life is. This experiences will be compile in details in the next blog. This programme is held for both IPTAR and IPR and I met lots of friends from IPTAR not to forget the "sumandaks" hehe there are many Sabahans at IPTAR. Sadly during the last day, my camera ran out battery, when I changed the battery I found out that the replacement batteries was ran out of power then there goes my last chance to take picture for the last event. Anyway I'll update it ASAP.

Keep on Fighting!!!

Friendship...

In this continuous fighting blog of mine I would like to share with all of you and whoever you’re about something I learned. It’s something about friendship. My old friend told me that friendship is gift from us for ourselves. Believe it or not when we meet someone who shares the same chemistry with us whether they have almost the same thought and approach or not but we felt comfortable with this person then it’s an open road that leads to friendship. Of course whether we have many friends or not, it’s how we try to maintain the chemistry between ourselves and them. There are some who always met with us in our daily life and those who you rarely heard about their whereabouts but we always know how they look, their habits, how they react to our remarks and behavior.

I’ve lots of friends and they come any color, any ages and approach. Sometime I remember their faces and names, and some of them called by the lord continuing their journey. For me, wherever I go I bring a piece of them and so they’re. Sometime we have to choose who can be our friend because we don’t feel comfortable with their approach and behavior and I had seen much of it. One thing for sure I don’t choose who should be my friend, anyone can be my friend except those who threat me badly (when I tried my best to be their friend) and those who bring negative auras (bullies, so-called thugs, social problem and mentally ill bastard).

Here are my conclusions:

1. Never ever being selfish in anything you have or do with them because someday you might get problems same as them. Who knows you might get sheltered from the authority for the crimes you committed.

2. Never ever neglect them (alone) when you met someone special in your life because when that special person leaves you, where should you go then? I have seen lots of person like and they end up alone without friends.

3. Watch our words because words are sharper than any blade in world (even Excalibur or Taming Sari) whether we want to comment or making fun of them because the Excalibur and Taming Sari might end up to your head.

4. Flexible when dealing with different types of friend. There are some friends who can't get along each other and you have to deal with it. Try to connect them because there is probably a wrong string attached between them, untie it and match the right string between them. (No wonder my computer 's power supply always blow up)

5. Talks to them and asked them whether they’ve problems. Make they feel comfortable and calm when they express their problems. Hear their every word so that they felt appreciated. Help them in any way you can. There are times when I’ve problems and they come to help me.

6. Appreciates every word they said about you even the BAD one!! Because we don’t how bad it’s until they told us.

7. Every person has talents, uncover it, build it, guide them and encourage them. It might be useful to them in the future. You’ll feel blessed when things go the right way. Some of my friend become really good in mathematic, computer, networking, public speaking, debates, writing,

8. Love them for what they’re not what they have. Be just and fair person. We’re not the right person to judge them but to guide them to be a better person.

9. Enjoy and share your life with them. Bring them together when you’re traveling. It wouldn’t be as enjoy as it‘s without them. I had went to wonderful places like Thailand, Penang, KL, Perlis, Pulau Langkawi and many more during mid-semester break at the university and best of all I went with different friends!! Next year I want to go to Pulau Tioman and JB!!

10. The last one is my way of changing their auras. I live on the aura, the atmosphere of the people surround me. Negative thought and behavior deplete my aura and I might end up pale and expired!! Give advice and thought about the consequences and effect of their conduct to their future and health. Some of my friends stopped drinking and smoking. Now some of them have a healthy life and at the same time my auras are saved. Appreciates them just like you appreciates your family, call them when you miss them because it might too late. I have friends called by the lord that I haven’t got the chances to know them better especially Edwin due to bone cancer. Friends wherever you are, may you rest in peace and I’ll never forget the moments we have together. Hope all of you get along there.

Can you apply that in your friendship? I’m not saying that I’m a great person but I had been through all that all this time and get along quite well with them.

KRS Camping!!!

Next week we (KRS) will undergo our camping trip to East Valley at Serian in short notice. We'll start our journey in the morning(6 a.m.) on Monday (four days and three nights). What interest me the most is we had been informed about it from yesterday!!

Just now we had done preparing the equipments after practicum briefing(which started this morning). I almost ran out of aura this week. Tonight we're going to have music class. For those who wanted to join KPLI, take a while and think about it. I don't really cared much about it because I choose this profession wholeheartedly. 5 months of misery if you want to call it but for me it's 5 months of hard work and struggle just to fulfil my dream next year and after.

So are you a fighter?

Love? Part 1

It's about sharing and caring. Of course every person in this world needs love because human want someone care about them, they want to express their feeling toward each other. This time I will tell a story about a boy.

For the first time in his life the boy has feeling towards a girl in his school. The girl was his junior by one year. Everyday the boy eagerly wake up early so that he never miss the bus to school just to wait the girl at the school gate. Along the way the boy talks about all things that he can ever imagined as long as he get the chance to meet her and talk to her. Everyday the boy tried his best to help the girl in her studies. The boy realized that he is not doing quite well in his studies so every evening after school time the boy came to the school to study. Day by day, the boy had improved in his studies and his exam result was much better than the last time. Within time, the boy able to assist the girl in her studies.

A year past... the boy continued his study in matriculation. He missed the girl so much. During the mid-semester break he takes the opportunity to meet the girl but not as often as he can during the break. The boy's feeling towards the girl never fade. After a year the girl continue her study in matriculation at Labuan and the boy pursue his degree at peninsular. They rarely met after that. Sadly, the boy didn't have the courage to tell the girl about his feeling because he didn't want their friendship to break.

For three years the boy regretted how fool he is when he has every chances to do so. After he finished his studies, the boy worked at a factory as a production manager, here the boy embark on one of his journey...

Sleep..?

First of all I want to ask you, do you have a good sleep last night? Is it enough? Sleep is the best way for one to rest physically and mentally. That's why children are encourage to sleep early to aid their mental and growth development even adults. Normal person sleeps approximately seven and a half hour(7.5 hour) and that's the best amount of sleeping hour we should have especially at night. Of course some of us likes to sleep in the afternoon after they've their lunch (which is not recommended) and evening. Believe me, how do you feel after waking up during that time? It's very unpleasant and annoying sometime. Some of us felt dizziness after waking up during that time. Should you sleep during that time, ensure that you take less than one hour then you can't felt any unpleasantness or dizziness. That's tips for you today.

Now for those whose used to sleep late night due to assignment and work, normal person can't endure long journey and they end up sleeping at the class and workplace. Some of caught sleeping during meeting and at the class while the lecturer giving lecture. From my experiences (recently) I caught some of my classmate sleeping and I take the opportunity to take a snap of their picture while sleeping and snoring.

That's the stories of others. Since childhood I never ever sleep in the evening because of my 'hyperactive' body and it frustrate my mother because she wants me to sleep and not to wonder around causing mischief (and always sick). When I enter matriculation, I have an experience of whole day without a sleep. Yes from from yesterday till the next day!! As time goes by, my body started to slow down and sleeping is my best friend. I usually sleep during afternoon after I had took my lunch. I had slept in front of my Chemistry lecturer Mdm Sim during class. I just go easy on my life at that time, I'm a bit sloppy (and skinny also) and everything was blurry , I don't have any reason or purpose for it. After I finished my study there, things never change and going on when I enter university. Started from that I changed.

During orientation week (which is packed with tiring activities) I felt asleep when one of the professor giving his speech about health and purpose of continuous learning. Then he said "I realized some you of are tired from the last activity and sleepy, maybe what I'm talking here is boring. Probably if I talked about football(World Cup 2002) then some of you might get interested". Like an iceberg hit by Titanic ship, suddenly I woke up and have a thought to myself. No wonder all this time I always bored easily when someone speaking in front. I realized that I always got sick and feeling sleepy all the time because I don't have any direction or something to motivate me. Started from that time, I never ever look back. I learned that I have reason and purpose to be fulfilled. I want to be someone. Someone who achieved and optimize my ability using my endless aura (energy).

I usually sleep for 6 hours and I can sleep less than 4 hours without feeling sleepy and not feeling tired. All I do is to set my target for the current day, what I want to do, and at the same time enjoying it. Our mind is the main controller. It can make you feeling energetic, you can get well very soon, you will less likely to starve, and you can do your activities longer than normal person. Enjoy all the things that you have, you have a good family, place to call home, friends who care about you, when you wake up in the morning be thankful that you still have a good health.

Now, have a nice sleep. Keep on fighting!!

Mandi?

Nota: Ini merupakan blog pertama yang dikeluarkan dalam Bahasa Melayu oleh kaiserstan


Mandi. Merupakan antara keperluan kesihatan dan kebersihan yang dijalankan setiap makhluk kecuali makhluk tersebut memang tidak pernah mandi semenjak azali. Maksudnya, lahir sahaja di muka bumi terus 'mengasam'. Betapa sinonimnya mandi dengan kehidupan kita seharian kerana sekiranya kita tidak mandi, pasti kita akan dikaitkan dengan beberapa makhluk yang tidak pernah mandi secara sukarela dari lahir(kambing dan makhluk SE-kambingan dengannya). Bau merupakan elemen yang terhasil dari aktiviti 'mengasam'. 'Mengasam' boleh ditakrifkan sebagai menahan diri dari pada terkena cecair jenis H2O dalam tempoh yang tidak dibenarkan daripada pengetahuan insan-insan lain.

Tahukah anda? Ada di kalangan kita mengamalkan cara hidup sedemikian. Insan-insan ini merasa tidak perlulah mereka mandi kerana ada tugas lain yang lebih penting dari mandi kerana bila kita mandi banyak perkara yang kita hendak buat. Takut sabun atau shyampu terkena mata, takut tergelincir, alasan belum masanya untuk mandi, petang ni nak main bola jadi alang-alang la lepas main bola baru mandi atau pun yang paling biasa kita dengar malas mandi pagi.

Sesungguhnya ada insan-insan atau pun rakan anda atau pun rakan saya yang tidak mandi pagi atau pun malas nak bangun mandi pagi. Mereka ini kebiasaannya bila hari cuti, atau hujung minggu selalu melakukan amalan ini kerana hari ini tidak bekerja atau pun bukannya ada kelas di institut. Memang lumrah setelah penat bekerja, diri kita pun berkata "esok nak bangun lambat lah bukannya ada kerja atau kelas pun" lalu bermula lah proses tersebut pada hari sebelum mengasam. Pada keesokkannya, insan tersebut akan memulakannya dengan bangun lambat dari kebiasaannya. Nikmat bukan? Jadi mereka hanya terbaring di atas katil tanpa melakukan apa-apa atau pun sambung semula mimpi-mimpi indah di pagi hari sehinggalah ke petang. Sehinggakan warna ceria cadar pun bertukar kusam dan tidak bermaya seolah-olah ia berada di rumah mayat.

Berdasarkan pengalaman lepas dan bagi mengelakkan malu, insan-insan ini akan menunding jari atau mencari mangsa untuk disalahkan supaya kesalahan mereka tidak mandi pagi tertutup dengan bukti-bukti kukuh yang agak mustahil disangkal di mahkamah tinggi Malaysia atau pun antarabangsa. Tidak ada peguam yang dapat memerangkap mangsa untuk mengaku melainkan ada saudara terdekat atau rakan terdekat yang sebilik mengaku bahawa insan tersebut belum lagi mandi sepanjang beliau dituduh. Apabila ini terjadi, maka 'kantoi' lah insan tersebut dengan tersimpul malu umpama anak dara baru akil baligh dengan hingus meleleh kerana tidak dicuci angkara belum mandi lagi.

Perlukah kita terus-menerus menuduh insan-insan lain belum mandi kerana perdebatan ini bukanlah sesuatu yang menyeronokkan malah ada yang hampir-hampir meragut nyawa hasil ugutan mangsa yang ter'kantoi' ke atas saksi. Ia memang seronok bila kita fikirkan. Manusia meruapakan insan yang amat luar biasa. Ada di antara rakan-rakan saya dapat menghidu rakan-rakan yang lain hanya dengan bercakap melalui telefon atau pun melalui perbualan chat di skype atau pun yahoo messenger. Setakat ini belum ada lagi kajian dilakukan untuk membuktikan sama ada ada insan-inan yang dapat menghidu bau kasam dari jarak jauh adalah benar tetapi tahap ketepatannya hanya 50 peratus. Kenapa 50 peratus? sebab jawapannya adalah ya atau bukan. Contohnya apabila seseorang menuduh rakannya belum mandi hanya melalui chatting sahaja. Jawapan nya mungkin benar atau tidak kerana rakannya mungkin sudah mandi pagi dan benar-benar telah mandi pagi atau pun belum mandi tetapi mengaku telah mandi pagi.

Dari zaman ke zaman, persoalan ini semakin ketara dengan kebanyakkan artis pujaan yang kerap lambat bangun pasti menjurus kepada lambat mandi pagi atau pun mandi tengahari atau petang telah menjadi ikutan masyarakat remaja dan melarat hinggalah ke alam dewasa. Apabila diamalkan oleh orang dewasa, anak-anak terpengaruh dan menjadi budaya dan adat yang tidak dapat disangkal. Kemudian keluarlah kajian saintifk atau golongan bijak pandai yang mengeluarkan hujah-hujah atau tesis peringkat diploma untuk mempertahankan atau menjelaskan rasional perlunya kita tidak mandi pagi. Maka tidak perlulah saya menjelaskan lebih lanjut kesannya lebih-lebih lagi di negara yang mempunyai bekalan air bersih yang mencukupi tidak termasuk air parit, air sirap, air teh dan air sungai-sungai jika dimasukkan.

Mandi ada kategorinya yang tersendiri, antaranya mandi kerbau (berkubang) dan mandi burung (basah kepala). Adakalnya amalan membasuh muka pun dianggap mandi. Dewasa ini syarat-syarat untuk mandi telah dilonggarkan namun masih ada sesetengah insan tidak dapat menunaikan kewajipan mereka.

Kesimpulannya, masalah yang berkaitan dengan mandi pagi tidak dapat diukur kerana kebarangkalian seseorang insan tidak mandi pagi adalah 50 peratus iaitu benar atau tidak benar. Sama ada disengajakan atau tidak, amalan ini telah berlaku semenjak Tanah Melayu mencapai kemerdekaan kerana semasa zaman penjajah, rakyat dibenarkan tidak mandi kerana khuatir akan menyebabkan kekurangan air untuk kegunaan pegawai-pegawai tinggi penjajah pada waktu itu boleh dijadikan pengecualian. Mandi atau tidak adalah persoalan yang perlu kita jawab dan bukannya dijawab rakan atau bapa saudara sebelah ibu kita untuk mempertahankan sama ada anda sudah mandi.

Akhir kata, jangan biarkan diri anda diselubungi bau-bauan 'kasam'.

Something beneath my bed?

This story is not about mystical creature living beneath my bed. It's something that lives underneath my bed.

Well it happens when I had just returned back from PBS at my hometown. I arrived at Sibu around 10 a.m. and suddenly my father call my handphone and telling me that I left one of the book that I borrow from the library(IPGM, KR) at home. Well that doesn't relate to the story I'm to tell here because it bothers me the most for being careless.

Then my friend fetch me at the wharf and we went to the institute after taking our lunch at Singapore Chicken Rice. (Thanks dude!)

As I open the door to my room I found out that my roommate (Kapitan Sri Aman) hasn't comeback from his so-called vacation. Then I put my bag and my cloths inside the locker and douing some cleaning as the room is quite messing when we're in hurry of getting home for PBS.

After I had done my 'homework' I lay myself on the bed then my stomach started to crumble. Damn, I forgot to buy some food. Well never mind, for the time being I'll take Mr Potato to get me occupied. As I bend to get it underneath my bed, I saw....

A Small Flurry Creature!!!!! Sleeping on my forgotten, the unwashed B.I.G's socks!!!

Here have some Mr Potato

Eat all you can and... SCRAM!!!

From intensive research and logical thinking, I assume that the cat had undergone B.I.G under my bed since we left for PBS. Mysteriously, I don't know how did it ended up under my bed. We had undergone PBS for 2 weeks!!! Imagine that. The cat was so skinny that it barely move itself to eat the chips. After the cat had done with my chips, I dragged it out of there. The cat ran as fast as it was 'prison break' tv series. Lucky you, I hadn't put the chips under my bed, I wouldn't notice it and probably die. That would give me another headache cleaning the corpe after I left my book at Kapit.

Well that cat is such a fighter...