Second chances?

How I wish to have a second chances...
Second chances, Always in my mind,
So precious,
Can't imagine what I can do with it,
Believe me, I'm started to...

If I do...
Never lose a chance to learn,
Start over all the wrong decisions I ever made,
Made the right moves,
Make more friends,
Cherish the best moment in my life,
Be a better fighter!!!!! Hiyah!!!

What was left?

Probably some of you who had a good day today, nice relaxing holiday on your bed, or such comfortable life working for your own life. Every morning you wake up early rejuvenated, taking your favourite breakfast meal of the day accompanied by your loved one, going to work without worrying on the traffic condition, great day at the office, tea break with colleagues after working day's done, going home and a good dinner before you went to sleep...

Each day you wish everything going well the same as ever then come the day you received your paycheck(salary). You went shopping buying anything your heart desires without any worries about your credit's limit. That could be a dream come true for some of you out there isn't it? Sports cars? Bungalow? expensive imported bags? while you sing : "I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad...buy all the things I've never had..."

My Hope?

Wassup!!! Wassup!!! fellas...

It has been a while I hadn't post anything on my blog. Being absence in action while enduring life's everyday challenges. Yes, I lived it. That's what for this year. Next year going to be another story. I expect it to be more interesting. Meaner than ever. More action(kicking and slapping!!) Less dialogues. Let the hands do the talk. Hiyahh!!!! Ouch!! Hurt my fingers....fuuuu fuuu fuuu(blowing...)

Okay, just cut the scene, these kids be better prepared, for I'm no ordinary person. I'll make sure they drilled all of it inside their head. That would save some time for me. Moulding these kids is not easy especially when you try your hardest to mould it into a great masterpiece then suddenly became 'reject' product upon arriving at home. That's some tricky challenge yet very frustrating. It's like learning how to write with left hand(for right hand user) but in the end you use your usual writing hand(right). Vice versa... By the way I'll bring Hell for them(for special request). I love the duck(jalan itik...).

That's is one thing I had to admit. I can't change 'them' if the process is not supported(participation, understanding, awareness) at home. Sometime it makes me pray that someday they understand the purpose. It's not too late to change your life for betterness of tomorrow.

I wish nothing more than a support from those who are at 'home'. At least 'they' have their part in future. Do I need to beg for that?

Never gave up; Keep on fighting!!!

School Sports Day?

Today is the closing day of the School Sports Day that had been held since yesterday. Well I'm a bit tired and so do all of us. Everyone do their role and it went well. What's really tiring is making the 'track' in bright hot sun!!! I even got sunburn from it!! Well it doesn't matter, everything's done. What done is done and I got my first experience from it. Barely two days of marching practice, my team lose. I know, there's only two days to prepare the kids and they're not well enough to perform. Anyway, it's a good effort for them and from me.

On the other side, we won. We won the event comprehensively. I told my boys and girls, if they won 2 golds medal(boys & girls event) we are number 1 and they did it. We won it, tied with the same gold medals with our competitor, the silvers won it for us. The kids are cheering when the winner's team announced. I'm so proud of them. I hope they not only excel in sports but also in their studies. As for my remedial's pupil, I hope they can read well in my class.

Never give up ang "keep on fighting"

Out of tune

Lately these few days I'm a bit mixed. It caused me to react out of 'tune' and drifting my life with the flow. Nothing much happens lately and my biological 'clock' is broken. It's hard for me to get a sleep or even to wake up early. Sometime I force myself closing my eyes to avoid it from drying. Can you ever imagine that you were not sleeping and your eyes were closed whole night till morning? Well you better wish that never happen to you.

Gosh, why would there be a reason for me to feel bad about others? I never have any intention to do such kind of things and people tend to perceive it other than my own. Why we're proud about all the so-call cowboy thing we do? Proud to be a prominent in such filed? Are you so meant? Or meant? Can you explain what mean really is? I never being proud of my past but I tell my tale as a guidance sop that others can learn from my tale, from my mistakes and everything...

Maturity is something that you get when you can rationalize based on your life experience. Age never determine it...whether you're the first to taste salt or the Starbucks Coffee it doesn't matter. There are those who act like a 9 years old boy begging for his mother's milk. Geez!!! Get a life...

If you can handle your life smoothly, that is better than bragging how (good)mature you are. Mere perspective deceives those who is blind in the heart. Respect them, then you can see through it.

These kind of things makes me out of tune, out of my normal self. I can change accordingly but they can't change me for their own sake. I change, I decide base on my surrounding. No favors to other.

Hopefully this month I can get myself back to normal. I still have faith on myself.

Erti 25 minit di sekolah

Aku, seperti rakan-rakanku yang lain, adalah murid di sebuah sekolah rendah. Setiap pagi aku berjalan ke sekolah bersama rakan yang lain ke sekolah. Aku suka ke sekolah kerana di sana rakan-rakan ada bersamaku di sana.

Apabila loceng berbunyi, kami berpusu-pusu masuk ke dalam kelas masing-masing. Kemudian cikgu pun masuk. Seperti biasa kami akan belajar pelajaran baru tetapi hatiku masih tidak tenang dan bertiup kencang. Kerana pagi ini, matlamat kami masih belum tercapai...

Mengapa cikgu tegas sangat, garang dengan kami. Pensil yang baru bapaku beli minggu lepas ku gigit hingga berbekas(gigi)..pemadam ku cucuk dengan pensil. Cantik juga coraknya. Kalaulah guru ku pandai menilai seni, pasti inilah seni yang terhebat dihasilkan oleh budak sebaya ku.

Tapi...

Lama lagi ke masa yang perlu ku tunggu ini? Memang betul kata kakak ku, penantian itu memang satu penyeksaan. Sungguh seksa menunggunya. Untuk membuang masa aku meraut pensilku. Habuk pensil tu ku letakkan ke atas rambut temanku di sebelah. Rancangan ku sungguh licik, dia tidak menyedarinya, kawan-kawan di belakang ketawa kecil tersenggih-senggih di belakang. Aku pula menahan ketawa melihat karya tersebut. Karya Mona Lisa pasti tak lengkap tanpa 'hiasan' di rambutnya. Malangnya, Leonardo da Vinci tidak sebijak ku. Dia bukan dari zaman ku. Zaman yang penuh kacau-bilau. Pada zaman itulah lahirlah insan-insan yang mengubah perspektif dunia. Mujur cikgu ku tegas orang nya. Kalau tidak, mungkin aku pun tidak tahu apakah maksud perspektif. Akulah insan alaf baru yang akan membawa perubahan kepada dunia. Akan ku cari 'Mona Lisa' dan akan ku berikan dia 'hiasan' yang sepatutnya.

Tidak lama kemudian guru menjalankan 'spot check' dan memeriksa beg kami. Aku terselamat kerana di dalam begku penuh dengan buku teks manakala buku latihanku, ku tinggalkan di bawah meja. Dengan itu, mudah bagiku memberitahu ibu bapaku bahawa semua buku latihan ku sudah dihantar kepada guru walaupun sebenarnya tidak. Latihan yang cikgu berikan untuk kerja rumah aku siapkan secepat mungkin semasa kelas dijalankan walaupun aku pun tidak mengerti apakah yang aku tulis. Yang penting siap, lebih baik daripada dihukum berdiri di atas bangku. Aku dah la kaki bangku, takkanlah aku nak berdiri di atas bangku. Secara tidak langsung aku dapat bermain sepanjang hari selepas tamat waktu sekolah tanpa rasa bersalah tidak seperti kakak ku yang menghadap buku sepanjang hari. Apalah gunanya hidup menghadap buku rujukan sedangkan banyak yang ku pelajari di luar rumah sambil bermain. Belajar sambil bermain ada juga faedahnya. Sebab itu lah badanku bercalar akibat bermain di dalam hutan dengan kawan-kawan. Itulah belajar dari pengalaman. Bak kata kawanku "biar saja la aku begini, hidup juga aku ini" walaupun aku langsung tidak memahami kaitan yang disebutnya dengan kehidupnya yang tidak lagi bersekolah.

RING!!!!! Loceng menandakan waktu rehat dibunyikan. Tibalah saat yang dinantikan oleh kami semua, iaitu waktu REHAT!!! Hiah....aku berlari keluar tanpa memikirkan masa depan yang masih kabur ke arah padang sekolah. Aku berlari sepantas yang boleh. Ya, mungkin inilah saat yang ku tunggu-tunggu dari pagi. Segala seksa yang ku tahan, yang ku redahi akhirnya ku lepasi dengan cemerlang!!! Tidak sia-sia kegigihanku untuk menahan segala cabaran yang diberikan oleh guru-guru. Segala penderitaan yang kami tempuhi berbaloi. Kawan-kawanku berlari di belakang. Tidak syak lagi, aku lah juara.

Lumpur dan tanah yang mengotori bajuku tidak ku endahkan asalkan niatku tercapai. Habis comot bajuku. Leteran ibuku yang membasuh bajuku pasti tergiang-ngiang apabila aku sampai di rumah nanti. Tapi aku muskyil, mengapa pula guru-guru berleter apabila bajuku comot. Bukannnya mereka yang akan membasuh bajuku, tetapi ibuku. Tidak perlulah bermasam muka kerana ibuku yang bertanggungjawab atas hal ini. Selalunya bila mereka berleter aku menjawab "Jangan khuatir cikgu, nanti saya suruh mak saya basuhkan".

Setiap kali kami bermain, ada saja budak yang menangis. Mengapa la mereka tak 'rugged' langsung. Biasa la bila bermain mesti la ada 'body contact' sikit. Sentuh sedikit dah nak menangis sahaja. Crybaby betul mereka tu. Tak nak lah berkawan dengan mereka nanti aku pula yang terkena. Baik aku layan sendiri bukan ada yang menggangguku.

Ring!!! Sekali lagi loceng berbunyi, menandakan masa rehat sudah tamat. Bermandikan peluh yang membasahi bajuku, aku bergegas masuk ke arah pintu kelas. Kelihatan guruku menunggu di depan pintu kelas. Jelaslah aku yang terakhir masuk ke kelas. Aku memberi alasan bahawa aku sakit perut dan baru sahaja selesai menunaikan tuntutan yang wajib ku jalankan walhal aku sepanjang masa rehat berada di padang. Mujurlah aku terselamat dari hukuman. Setakat ini aku masih mengekalkan rekod bersih bebas dari hukuman. Kawan-kawanku yang lain dihukum atas kesalahan yang mereka lakukan. Padan muka mereka, dah banyak kali aku cakap mereka tak nak dengar. Asyik membuat kesilapan yang sama.

Bagiku belajar adalah perkara kelima selepas PJ, melukis & mewarna, menyanyi sambil meminta puji dari guru adalah kegemaran kami dan aktiviti waktu rehat. Itulah maksud 25 minit di sekolah bagiku. Pada pandanganku sebagai seorang murid yang berhemat dan patuh kepada peraturan sekolah, masa rehat perlu dipanjangkan supaya kami dapat menikmati saat itu lebih lama lagi. Walaupun aku belum lagi mahir dalam subjek Matematik, tetapi biarlah masa itu dipanjangkan kepada 1 jam. Aku yakin, aku dan rakan-rakan ku yang lain tidak akan membantah. Aku berharap karangan ku ini mendapat markah yang tinggi. Dapatlah aku menunjuk-nunjuk di depan kakak ku dan rakan sekelas yang lain. Semoga perjuangan aku ini tidak sia-sia.

My Journey In Sabah

It has been three weeks since I arrived here together with my friends. It's hard to get 'connected' with everyone and thankful with the internet connection these few days. I was placed deep in the middle of nowhere and kind of stranded during my first day in SK Mengkawago. Everyone is a ready made friend to me and it's easy to get along with them. Thanks everyone.

It's a sacrifice I have to do for betterness of tomorrow

I really enjoy my life in Sabah though kind of miss 'someone' here...

Lucky...

Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Yeah I hear you in my dreams
I hear your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through trees ???
Move so pretty you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh