I have something in my mind right now. I had kept it for years and it takes years for me to understand it. All this while I have been searching for something that can shift my life to another phase. Usually I spent my time thinking about what my life would be in the future. This time it's different, somehow I must do something and it's a guilt if I didn't. It's so clear that it hits me right to the head! It makes me so lively this morning, I never felt so lively yet and I can't hide it from others. Such intent, enthusiasm, energy, AURA flows endlessly through me and it makes me out of control. I tried to hold it from bursting out when we have a photo session this morning otherwise it would be awkward seeing me acting out of my typical stereotype box.
"Time is running out" - and yes it's. Especially for me. This is all I have, my body can't lie to me anymore and it's started to wear off. Damn! When I thought back on the weakness that put me back all this while. Unlike those days when I enjoy every pieces of my life knowing that the future always ahead of us when we know which path we should choose. I hate it when I can't, it's not like that I can't accept failure it's just that I'm numb. I can't do anything to avoid my destiny only to accept it.
I have changed a lot since these past few years. I don't want to be the one in the past. He is different, radical, full of rage and egos. I hate that person even though deep inside of him is he is just innocent. I want to be a nice person with lots of friends and knowledgeable. I don't care how high the wall that I have to climb just to get on the other side to have a new view. I opened my mind for any opinions and suggestions because I believe that we're just human and sometime we miss something that we shouldn't. I smiled and cheered myself even in difficulties. I thought to myself 'is there anything that can be so impossible in life than the past', 'how hard will it hit me' and 'I won't die without giving a try'.
Sometime people like to judge us through mere observation without knowing us. Believe me, it took time for me to understand a person because any habits or actions done by a person is seldom happen in randomness. Judge ourself before we judge others because we don't know what is their side of story. Put yourself on their shoes then you'll understand them better to clear any ambiguous perceptions that wander in your mind. I tend not to judge someone unless they 'ask' me to do so because I'm a straight kind of person. I'm analytical, enthusiasts, symbolic, idealistic realist, and neutral at the same time when giving my view. We must be fair in anything we do and don't let your emotion or your personal intent get over you while making decisions. Ignore what others said about your initiative because they're blind by their ignorance because bliss is for those who try their best making their life meaningful even in hardship. I don't care much on 'ignorance is a bliss'. Because ignorance is something that you get when you never cared what is going on in your life.
Anyway I love my life even though I faced various problems and obstacles to get over with. What's there for me to fight for? Right?
Just 'keep on fighting' till the last breath you ever take as if you'll never see the world in next moments
kaiserstan a.k.a. A.R.K.
Embrace the spirit within the soul.
